incompleteruler | Entries tagged with personal

Merry late Christmas to those who celebrate!

I'm in the mood for writing a blog entry right now, so I figured I'd just do that. Honestly, I don't have that much to talk about, but I finally managed to watch a movie that's been on my list forever today, and I'm really happy about that. Even though it's the holiday season, I feel like lately I'm surrounded by pessimism IRL, and it's been weighing me down. I can't say I don't get it, I also have finals in a few weeks and I've also had a weird last months of 2025... But I'm not the kind of person to insist on that kind of feelings, so when it's all I see, it kinda pisses me off. Of course, this is an issue, and I don't go around telling people to suck it up, but I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me.

However, finally watching a movie really cheered me up. I haven't watched many movies in my life, and I don't really know why. I think that when I was a child, I saw them as something to be watched with others, since I had no other option but to go to the cinema with family, or watch a movie on the TV. Then, I grew up, and I stopped caring about that, but for some reason I rarely ever watched anything. It's such a big part of me ATP that even my friends are shocked when I tell them I've watched a movie!

Recently, though, I realised I could just change that if I wanted to. I can just watch things when I want to, especially with how broad the internet is. I think another reason I've rarely watched anything is because I don't use any streaming services, but that's not a problem when you can sail the seven seas, if you know what I mean lol.

I think movies are a very cool medium for storytelling, and I think I've come to appreciate the technicalities in them lately. Up until recently, I would just rate anything I liked a 10/10 — anime, books, plays... If I enjoyed it, that was enough. But there's a certain beauty to seeing the flaws in what you like, too. I've seen people say it kinda ruins the experience for them, but I disagree. I do have to admit, though, that I'm always looking for the good part of everything, so that might have to do with it. I don't think that's a problem though, I do like most of what I see and that's neat, even if it's not everyone else's cup of tea. We're all here to do our thing.

...All that, and I haven't even mentioned which movie I watched, lol. It was The Breakfast Club. It caught my eye because it's referenced in the main story of my favourite 18TRIP group, and now that I finally have some free time (university is a special kind of hellspawn, I swear), I figured I could watch it! I really liked it, though I am conflicted about the very ending. I won't spoil it, though. Overall, I'm giving it a 4/5.

I miiiight watch something else sometime soon, but I kinda just do whatever I want whenever I want, so I can't say for sure. For now, I'll tag this as ''personal'', and if I decide to log any movies I might watch properly, I'll make some kind of movies tag.

See you next time!

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: MY LIFE is NO CUT! - 18TRIP

Well, hello again!

This is probably my last post until I'm done with finals. Sadly I don't think I'll be able to play the new Mondstadt AQ before this phase ends, which is kind of a bummer but at least it's permanent, so I'll get to playing it in the end.

On the topic of Genshin itself, I actually lost my 50/50 to Dehya the other day while pulling for Navia, which... oops. My partner did tell me not to pull so much on her banner, but to be completely honest I wasn't really upset either, as I've won many 50/50s on a row and I still have plenty of wishes left. I think I'll just keep saving until a character I want debuts or gets their re-run, it's completely cool with me.

I actually haven't been playing Genshin that much as of lately, but it is interesting to think back and realise it's almost been a full year since I started playing. It definitely doesn't feel like it's been that long, but that's probably because I've taken a huge break lately. And thinking back on it, I don't think I enjoyed Natlan all that much, but I feel like the exploration gimmicks are largely at fault here as well as the community, which I've tried to avoid as much as possible anyway, but I do have to say it's quite annoying trying to go on the Internet to see what people think of a game and see people solely focus on powerscaling and whatnot. I don't care if I can't full-star the Abyss, I just want to play as my favourite characters. Though I guess that's to be expected with a game with a fanbase as big as Genshin's, so no big deal, really.

In general, it seems to me that lately everything is no big deal for some reason. Considering it's finals season for me, that's quite ironic, but I really do feel like these exams aren't that big of a deal. I think my first year of university has been a really complete experience, both in the good and in the bad sense, but it's all come down to this sense of peace that everything's gonna go well now, so I can't really complain about that LOL.

I really can't wait for summer as a whole. The weather keeps getting warmer and warmer and it really feels like it's already summer. Only a few more exams to go and I'll be free!

Current Mood: calm

I didn't want April to end without me making a post about this, but I ended up forgetting about it... Either way, April's Autism Awareness Month, and one thing about me is I am very much autistic, and not ashamed of it. I've known for a few years now, and even if it took me a bit to accept it, projecting onto my favourite characters was something that helped me a lot with coming to terms with it. Being autistic is just part of who I am, and even if it brings me some real headaches sometimes, I wouldn't want to be any other way.

Surprisingly, I haven't seen anything about the month at all. I'm not the most active person in social media, I mostly use it to keep up with friends and whatever franchises I like as well as look at fanart, but it was still shocking. Thus, in (late) celebration of this month, I wanted to highlight a few characters out of the many that I personally view as autistic!

Hina Hikawa - BanG Dream! Girls Band Party!

Hina is a character I met a long time ago. I started playing Bandori when I was really young, and I think knowing Hina genuinely helped me understand a part of myself very closely related to my autism, and she was also the first character I remember seeing someone HC as autistic. I remember Hina was one of the characters I immediately liked - I was just naturally drawn to her personality and views on the world! She resonated with me heavily from day one. It was my first time seeing a ''genius'' type character with her personality.

For those unfamiliar with Bandori, Hina is a carefree girl with a natural talent for almost everything, as well as an impeccable memory. There's one thing she's not talented at, though; and that's understanding others' emotions. This combined with her cheerful personality causes her to be unintentionally rude to others sometimes, even though she's just being honest. This kind of honesty and natural genius really spoke to me. It's not something I like to think about too much, but much like Hina, I am also considered a ''genius'' and I'm not great at understanding people's emotions, either (though I like to think I've been learning lately). Hina's story arc is also very much about being yourself, even if that means no one else gets you. Because, well, what does it matter if not everyone understands you, as long as you're happy?

The entirety of the Mahoutsukai no Yakusoku cast

I know that sounds like a joke, but bear with me! MahoYaku is set in a world where humans and wizards are fundamentally different, and wizards are hated for simply being wizards. This can be interpreted as a metaphor for many different things. Some of my friends have compared it to being in the LGBT+ community, and as someone who's part of it, I agree - but to me, it's always been more of an autistic metaphor.

Obviously, as the cast is made up of 21 characters, there are some I relate to more than others. For example, the Central Wizards' stubborn nature; Shino's blunt to a fault behaviour; Chloe's love for his favourite activity... And I could go on. I could even make one post just about them! But at the end of the day, one thing is clear: every wizard is different from each other, but they still have something in common. To me, this is comparable to the Autism Spectrum. Every autistic person is different, but that doesn't make any of us less autistic. I think MahoYaku always does a great job at showing what a group of seemingly unrelated people can have in common no matter how you read it, though.

MahoYaku also played a crucial part in my autism acceptance journey. I don't think I would be where I am now in regards to accepting that side of me if I hadn't known them.

Rui Kamishiro - Project Sekai

I think, by now, one can easily notice a pattern here. Rui is another character who's deemed a genius, much like Hina - but there's something in which he deviates from her, and it's his attitude towards the world seeing him as weird. Most of his conflict comes from not being sure if his friends will accept him, as he's been left behind before in the past just for being himself. He's been very misunderstood, and even though he embraces his oddball personality because it's simply who he is, the way he was treated before still comes back to haunt him at times. I believe that's a realistic part of being autistic, too. I am someone who doesn't really care what others think, but even then it doesn't mean it doesn't suck when I remember that some people have rejected me just because I like things very strongly or talk a certain way.

But at the end of the day it's their loss and not mine. This is something Rui's story helps me remember, and to quote his own mother (who I'm sure is also autistic, as well as his dad, but that's a conversation for another day LOL): ''People are people, and you are you''. This quote means a lot to me even now.

Tamaki Yotsuba - IDOLiSH7

I could choose many more characters, but I decided to include up to 4 characters, since I didn't want to say the same thing for everyone, LOL. Unlike Hina or Rui, Tamaki is generally seen more as an ''idiot'', but he's actually really emotionally intelligent. The one thing he struggles with the most is understanding others, too, but he has more of a temper than the other characters I mentioned before. Tamaki is shown to get frustrated when people don't mean what they say, and oh man, do I understand that.

This is the main source of conflict with his teammate Sougo, who honestly I think is autistic too, but very different from Tamaki. Sougo tends to hide what he really feels and avoids doing what he likes, as he's been looked down on for that before, but he also thinks things through a lot more than Tamaki does. Their development is very dear to me and I love seeing how much they've grown thanks to the other.

Also, Tamaki definitely has a special interest: King Pudding, the mascot for his favourite pudding, which is also definitely his comfort food. He is one of those characters I just can't see as anything but definitely on the spectrum!

There are so many more characters I could talk about, from many Genshin characters (Alhaitham, Cyno, Tighnari, and more come to mind, but I'd have to sit down and make a complete list because the cast is so big!) to characters from books I used to read as a kid. These are just a few of the many that have helped me further understand myself and those around me. Being autistic really impacts how I see the world and myself, but that's fine! I really wouldn't have it any other way. I hope every autistic person can truly love themselves as they are, no matter what those around them might say.

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Hello / How Are You - Nanou

I went to the theatre today! And I was immediately reminded of how much I love theatre!!

I've loved acting ever since I was a child and there's nothing like standing on stage to me. But watching plays is just as important, and something I think everyone should do... I understand acting isn't for everyone, but I truly believe there's a play for everyone out there. The thing with plays is that you'll never watch the same one twice, even if it's in the same location with the same cast and supervised by the same director. Every time a play is represented is unique to, and I think that's so beautiful.

Unfortunately I feel like theatre is an art that's really underappreciated these days (man, I sound like a grandpa saying this. I'm an eighteen year old guy!!), and I don't really understand why. The seats were all sold out but most people were elders, and there's nothing wrong with that obviously, but I do wish the younger generations would appreciate it a bit more. I feel like this is the case with a lot of art forms anyway, but at least people read books and listen to music. However, I can't help but notice that I don't usually hear someone say they're going to the theatre. I understand that it might sound time-consuming, but any time spent in the theatre is time well spent!

I'm obviously very biased with this because acting has always been one of the things I hold closest to my heart, but I really just wish more people opened the door to the vast worlds theatre has to offer. Either way, I'm just really happy to have finally gone to the theatre to watch a play again (I do frequent my local theatre, but it's to act, not to watch others act lol). It's good for my soul I think, it's one of those things that never fail to make me feel alive. It makes me happy to know it's not just me who shares the feeling and that theatre is something many people before me have also loved dearly.

On that note I'm really excited to study Classical plays in class. I don't know when that will be, I think I'll have to wait until next year, but I've read a few already and I'm looking forward to studying them in more depth as well as translating them, though I'm not sure if that's something we'll do in uni but we probably will eventually.

Current Mood: refreshed
Current Music: IMPERIAL CHAIN - ZOOL

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